Mum Guilt and is painting a job?!

Every mother knows this feeling. Your needs don't always match up to your little one's needs and there is a push/pull. At the beginning you kind of have to get out of bed and feed the baby (how dare they be hungry when you're desperately trying to get just one hour shut-eye?!) and look after them the rest of the time. If you're a completely deranged control freak like me (and there are no local grandparents to detach you from your new family member) you think you should be with them all the time until you go completely mad. I don't recommend this. 

N.B. This is the daycare (how fun! so much stuff! nature!) not my backyard.

My point is that we've put Salvador in daycare and I've been transitioning to this new reality, just like he has. He actually really likes it. I only rang up 12 times on the first day. It's gone down a bit since then. 

He's only in two days a week, but from next week it will be three. Is this fair? Is painting a real job? Does it warrant incarcerating my child? *slight hysteria rising in voice* Well, clients are paying me to paint so it's a freelance job that's earning us an income. What about when I'm painting for an exhibition? What about when I take a break? Am I allowed to take breaks?

Most of us have to work and that usually means their children have to be looked after by others. It just feels so weird to be entirely freelance so no boss, no hours to keep to, at home, but without Salvador. I think the weird part is that painting doesn't feel like a job. It's a part of me I need to feed to calm me down and make me (relatively, ah-hem) normal. If I didn't like my job, would that validate daycare somehow?

What do you think? To daycare or not to daycare. To follow your passion and build an art career or to smother your little one in kisses all day (which let's face it, is a pretty good way to spend your time). These are my questions...

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